I'm not living, i'm just surviving.

There's a difference between being happy and just being distracted from sadness.

It said well drawn :)

Sometimes i feel like everything in my life goes wrong.

Sometimes i feel lost, empty, and confused. 

I just want to go somewhere no one ever been there.

Cause no one ever knows what i feel, not even my self.

Maybe sometimes i feel happy, but its like temporary.

it feels like my whole life is based on sadness, and happiness is only as a sweetener.

Im getting old, and things are getting worse.

I just want to run away. And dissapear.

Fun's fun, but who needs it ?

Sometimes i think that i want to disappear.
But all i really want is to be found.

I'll keep the picture saved in a safe place
Wow, I look so weird here, my face has changed now
It's a big change

So many feelings struggling to leave my mouth
And it's not that rare for me
To let myself down in a big way

But I had enough time and
I found enough reason
To accept that

It's not the same anymore
I lost the joy in my face
My life was simple before
I should be happy of course
But things just got much harder
Now it's just hard to ignore
It's not the same anymore
It's not the same anymore
It's not the same but
It's not a shame 'cause

I spent a long time putting up with people
Putting on my best face
It's only normal when you start things in the wrong way
It's only 4 o'clock and still it's been a long day
I just wanna hit the hay

People knocking on me like everyday
I'm tired of taking stress
If only there could be another way
I'm tired of felling suppressed
And when they want me the most
I'm tired of acting like I care but I do
And I can't wait to hit the bed
But tomorrow makes me scared 'cause

It's not the same anymore
I lost the joy in my face
My life was simple before
I should be happy of course
But things just got much harder
Now it's just hard to ignore
It's not the same anymore
It's not the same anymore
Oh
Oh

I kept the feelings inside
I open up when shit gets built up this high
She makes it easy to cry
The words fall out of me and there's no more disguise

I miss the days when I was someone else
I used to be so hungry
Right now my stomach's full as hell
And I've spent many months
Just hating on myself
I can't keep wishing things would be different
Or leaving problems on the shelf
I wish I didn't need to get help but I do
But I do, oh

I been so hard on myself, yeah
Even my family can tell
And they barely saw what I felt
I wouldn't wish this on my enemy or anyone else

It's not the same
(It's not the same, it's not the same)
It's not the same as before
It's not the same anymore
And it's fine because

I've learned so much from before
Now I'm not short on advice
There's no excuses at all
No point in feeling upset
Won't take my place on the floor
I'll stand up straight like I'm tall
It's up to me, no one else
I'm doing this for myself

It's not the same anymore
It's better, it got better
It's not the same anymore
It's better, yeah, yeah


This song is deep as fuck.
It's really hits me hard.
Feels like the song smiles at me with the sadness inside :"

In ten years time, i want to live in the house with a big window.
I want the house to be large enough to have a dining table with four chairs, but not too roomy to ever feel the depth of my aloneness.

Because, i'll probably be alone.

But i think aloneness won't feel so all-consuming with windows that protect me from the world but still let me watch it. :)